[JP] Write a letter to you children or future children. (Pt. 2)

[Set in the future!crack. Maddie = ididntdo_it / totallydid_it, and this is locked to her, should she ever find it (which Dean hopes she doesn’t).]

Maddie,

If you’re reading this, then I’m not coming home.

I can’t even believe I’m writing this, but I need to get this out just in case I die on a job and I don’t come home. Because I don’t want you to think that I This is harder than it looks, but if I die, I want to at least have the chance to say good-bye.

I love you, baby girl. I’m sorry I wasn’t there more and that we weren’t more of a family. I never wanted to be the guy that my dad was, who was never there and always off on a hunt, but I seem to have failed in that department. That didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking of you, however, and missing you like crazy.

You and your mom are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m sorry that I’m not there to tell you this myself, or that I never told you, if I haven’t said anything before now. I love you, Maddie, and I always will.

Love,
Daddy

179 words

[JP] Write a letter to you children or future children. (Pt. 3)

[Set in wayward_au. Alec = smart_alec494, and this is locked to him, should he happen to find it somewhere—which he might, should he decide to go poking around his hospital room.]

Alec,

I’m not usually the letter type, but you’re in surgery, Sam’s in a coma, and I’m sitting her quietly losing my mind. It’s not fun. This is at least something to do, and some way for me to keep myself sane for a little while. You’ll probably never even read this, which makes this letter even more pointless, but I figured if there’s some things I should have said that I never did—which happens a lot more often than you’d think—I might as well figure them out now.

I’m sorry that I left you and Ben. I’m sorry that I put you through that. I should have looked for other options, but I knew that with Sam there, I’d be leaving you in good hands. It was never my intention to abandon you, no matter what may have happened. You boys mean more to me than anything else. The last thing in the world I’d want to do is hurt you, but I certainly wouldn’t want to see anyone hurt you either. Which is what’s making sitting still right now very difficult as I very much would want to go out and kill something right now. But that’s not the point.

I know I don’t always seem like I want to hear what you have to say regarding Manticore and everything that happened there, and a lot of the time that’s the case, but sometimes I need to hear it. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me either. If there’s something you want to tell me, I’m here to listen. You’re my kid. My dad was never a guy you could talk to, and I certainly didn’t want to be him when it came to my own kids.

Which basically winds down to the main point of all this. At the end of the day—you’re always going to be my kid. Quirks, needs, whatever—you’re still mine. I’m going to try and protect you the best I can, whether you need it or not, because that’s my job. I’m your dad. You’re always going to have me, whether you want me or not. Family’s family—doesn’t matter how it happened, and both you and Ben probably saved me more than I care to admit, and I want to thank you for that.

And Kutner’s coming back, so hopefully he has something, and I can stop losing my mind already. But anyway, thank you. For a lot of things.

Dean

418 words

[JP] Write a letter to you children or future children. (Pt. 4)

[Set in greypicketfence. Sammy = three_syllables, and this is hidden for when she’s older. Written when Lisa was still pregnant. First three parts of this are posted in jstliketherifle.]

Sammy,

It seems weird writing this, considering it’s going to be years before you are even able to read it, but this is something you need to know, and when the time comes, I don’t know if I’ll be able to tell you. It hurts a lot to be doing this now, but hey—maybe if I’m prepared then, it’ll hurt a little less. I know that someday you’re going to ask me about the person you were named after, and I want to be able to have an answer for you when you do. I wish that he could be here so that you could meet him for yourself, because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have you, but that’s not going to happen.

Your uncle Sam was a good person. He helped people. He was the better of the two of us, and I miss him more than I can say. Sam was the smart one. He went to Stanford and got a full ride on top of that. He was the one who did all the research when we were hunting—not that I couldn’t do it, but Sam, he loved it. He had a big heart too. All he wanted was a nice normal life, a house and a family, away from the hunt, but I guess that just wasn’t meant to be for him. I suppose that’s mostly my fault, considering I’m part of the reason he’s not around anymore, but I know that he would have loved to have met you.

Truth of the matter is, Sam did what he had to do to keep your dad alive. I screwed up, put myself in a bad situation, and he got me out of it, but it cost me him. And I regret that I had to put him in that position every single day, but I don’t regret you. Not for a minute. You and your brothers are the most important things in my life right now. I made Sam and your mom a promise, and I’m going to make the same one to you. I will never leave you alone. Ever. You ever need me for anything, I’ll always be there for you.

And if I have any kind of luck at all, you’ll grow up to be just as great a kid as your namesake was.

Love,
Dad

397 words

[JP] Allard Lowenstein quote

[Set in the Sam/99 verse. Delilah = makinhstryasido, Ruby = ilove_atallman, Alastair is an NPC. Set after THIS and THIS.]

“The question should be, is it worth trying to do, not can it be done.”

By the time Ruby got back from whatever she was doing, Delilah was gone. God, had he missed that kid. He didn’t realize it until she practically tackled him after the fight but she was just so—hopeful. She was a dose of optimism and happiness that he so sorely needed, and now things were starting to feel a little bit better. He had needed someone to look on the bright side for him for a while. That usually wasn’t a quality instilled in most hunters, and how the hell she managed to hold onto it, he didn’t know, but that was just what the doctor ordered.

Ruby, however, was bringing the mood down with the look on her face when she walked in the door, and he wasn’t sure if that was because she didn’t get what she wanted, or she didn’t get it the way she wanted to. Either way, Ruby was a mood killer, and she just scanned the room for a moment, before looking back at him. “Where’s the kid?”

“Headed out—friend called her about another job about fifty miles from here,” Dean said with a sigh, moving over to push the empty pizza box to the side and pick up his beer. He folded himself into the chair next to the table, looking Ruby over for a moment, before speaking up again. “Find what you were looking for?”

“Yup,” Ruby replied, moving over to her bags and stashing something away. She didn’t have much, but she was picking up stuff as they went, so she needed somewhere to keep it.

“Do I want to know what it was?”

“Nope.”

“Do I want to know how you got it?”

“Nope.”

( *** )

1668 words