In which Dean wants to be a normal boy for a little while

[hasperkynipples]

[Cowritten with failuretotrust.]



Dean made his way up through Beth's apartment building, weaving his way through the doors and trying not to draw too much attention to himself. After the hell he'd been through in the past few days, he just wanted to see her. He wanted to be a normal guy for a little while, not the alpha and omega of the apocalypse that the angels seemed to think him to be. He just wanted to be human. A guy who had a girl that wanted to take him to bed for a little while, where he wouldn't have to worry about the end of the world that had somehow become his responsibility to stop.

He was still a little sore due to the beating he'd taken form Alastair, and he still had a few cuts and bruises scattered across his face, but he was hoping that he didn't look too worse for wear. He didn't want her to worry about him. He just wanted to be someone else for a little while, and he really hoped that wasn't too much to ask. He hung back slightly, before knocking on the door and sliding his hands into his pockets as he waited.

"Someone's at the door!" Beth shouted it in something between shock and excitement. She hadn't really had any visitors other than Amy. Not that she didn't enjoy having Amy there, but...she was getting cabin fever, and the only other people she had seen since leaving the hospital were Bruce and Lloyd. Not even Max, who was off on a job. Oh she hoped it wasn't Bruce and Lloyd visiting again. She got to her feet and headed for the front door.

Dean just waited outside, hearing the sound of her voice and he relaxed a little more. He could be human for a little while. He could be that much for her, and if anything, she could burn out the demonic parts of him that were still left over. He slid his hands deeper into his pockets and waited for the door to open and he could see her face.

She got to the door and pulled it open. She froze when she saw Dean. Her eyes moved over him slowly and she started to worry too much for comfort. "Dean," she said softly. She took a step towards him. "Baby..what happened?"

"Doesn't matter," he said softly. "I'm okay, really, I just -- " He moved in to her, placing his hands on her hips and just pulling her in closely. " -- Mind if I hang out here for a little while?"

Her arms went around his neck tightly and her eyes closed. God she had missed him. "Of course," she murmured. "As long as you want." He leaned into her shoulder, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in. Normal. He needed a lot of normal. She rubbed his back for a moment, then stepped aside to pull him inside. "Come in," she said gently to him. He followed her lead, just letting her lead the way in and keeping his eyes on her. He needed someone to guide him this time around. He didn't feel comfortable with letting himself take the lead.

Beth shut the door behind them and glanced over to where Amy sat on the couch. She wasn't really sure what to say or do. She hadn't exactly been around them both at once before. She didn't want to offend anyone.

Amy shook her head. "Call me if you need me," she replied softly, before moving past them, making her way towards the door. She could just walk out -- no need to make Dean more uncomfortable than he already was.

Dean's eyes followed her as she went, waiting until the door was closed behind her before raising an eyebrow at Beth. "Amy?"

"Yes," she said with a nod. "She's been making sure I stick to my medical leave."

Dean nodded slowly. He didn't even have the energy to make a threesome joke. "Good. Wouldn't want you to get hurt again."

She looked up at him. She didn't know what was wrong, but he was scaring her like this. All she could do was think about what she would need if she felt as awful as he looked. Her hand brushed his cheek and held it a moment as she leaned in to kiss his jaw. Dean let his eyes fall closed, his hands dropping down to her hips again and pulling her in closer. She could tell he didn't want to talk, so she just wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head to his chest. "I missed you," she said.

"Missed you too," he murmured, keeping her close. "It's -- been a rough couple weeks."

"You wanna lay down?" She asked, rubbing his back.

"Yeah," he nodded, before pulling back and looking at her with a smirk. "Can we just pretend we're not complicated for a while?"

She took his hand and led him towards the bedroom. "Here I thought we were pretty straight forward," she smirked.

"We are," he said, giving her a bit of a sheepish smile. "I just -- kinda want to be a normal boy for a while."

"We can do that." She sat down on the bed and patted the seat beside her. Dean moved to sit next to her, just trying to let himself relax as much as possible. She looked at him and sighed. She grabbed onto his arm and yanked hard as she tipped herself over on the bed, pulling him with, no clue where he'd end up. But she had to do something. He followed her shifting slightly so that he landed on top of her, and he grinned slightly, before leaning in to kiss her deeply. She sighed softly, not expecting that- at least not the intensity - and kissed him back. Her hands moved up to cup his cheeks gently.

Dean pulled back from the kiss after a moment, before leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breath. "I really did miss you."

She relaxed back against the pillow and propped her leg up, leaning it against his side. Keeping him enclosed. "Me too," she whispered. Her hand brushed through his hair. He didn't mind being enclosed so much. His hand slid down over her thigh, squeezing it softly as he leaned in to start to kiss her neck lightly.

Her eyes closed and her head tipped back as she let herself enjoy it. She was trying to not think about the nerves she had of him seeing her stomach and how...imperfect it now looked. As his lips trailed down over her neck to the neckline of her shirt, before he remembered something and looked up at her. "Are you okay to -- " he made a gesture between the two of them with one hand. " -- cuz if you're still -- "

She smirked with a nod. "Nothing rough, should be fine."

He gave her a brief smile before nodding. "Just checking." He then leaned back down to kissing her neck again, starting to slide his hand under her shirt. "Can't exactly go rough either -- still a little sore." On reflex, her hand dropped down and grabbed his. Not that she didn't want him...she did...but...she was self conscious of it. "What?" he asked softly, not moving his hand but staying close.

"It...doesn't look the same," she whispered, glancing away.

He smirked slightly, before nipping at her jaw lightly and starting to move his hand up more. "I don't care about a little scar. I've got a million of 'em."

Her eyes closed and she started feeling a bit breathless. "It's...not so little," she murmured.

"I bet I've had worse." He paused for a minute, shifting his weight so that he could point up. "You wanna know how many times I've been shot in just this shoulder?"

Her hands slid up to his shoulders. "I like your shoulders."

He laughed. "And I like your stomach. Scars or not."

She bit her lip, then sat up slightly. She slowly pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a healing surgical scar on the right side of her stomach. It was still red and peeling a bit, but it didn't hurt so much anymore. She watched his eyes as she let her shirt fall to the floor. His hand moved up over her stomach and brushed it with his thumb lightly, before starting to trail his lips down again, moving his lips closer to the scar.

Her eyes closed and her body moved to meet his lips. He continued to let his lips trail over her, brushing kisses across her chest and stomach, and just taking his time with it. Beth let out a soft cry, her fingers brushing down the back of his neck as he moved. He continued to make his way back up her chest, before leaning in to kiss her again, using his hands to pull her in closer. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him back and her legs wrapped around his waist tightly. She wasn't in a hurry to move things along, she just wanted to feel him close to her. And he wasn't complaining. He just leaned in and pushed himself closer, stretching out as flat against her as possible.

She pulled her mouth from his and brushed kisses against his face lightly where the scratches were. He closed his eyes, still sliding his hands down over her body as they went to the fly of her pants. She lifted her hips for him and tipped her head back a bit. Right then she just wanted to give him whatever he needed. He finished getting her pants off, before shedding his own clothes and moving over on top of her, trying to get as close as possible.

Beth pulled him into her arms warmly and let him stay close. When she felt his body hitch against hers and start to relax, her hands moved up to his cheeks. She held his face and looked up at him, concern in her eyes. And every ounce of care she had for him. Dean watched her for a moment, before shifting off so that he was curled up next to her, sliding an arm around her waist and burying his face in her shoulder.

She faced him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. She rubbed his back slowly and kissed his forehead. "It's okay, baby," she murmured. "You're okay."

"I don't know if I can do this," he murmured softly. "Not us. Just -- my life."

Her eyes popped open and she pulled back a bit. She tipped his head up and glared at him. "Dean Winchester if you-" a slight break in her voice. "If you quit life...I will find a way to shoot you. Multiple times."

He laughed slightly, before shaking his head. "I'm not looking to kill myself. I just -- don't know if I can do what they're asking me to do."

"What are they asking you to do?"

"You don't wanna know." He paused. "I don't even know if I can explain it."

She nodded, not needing to know. Her thumb stroked his face lightly. "Will it hurt people or help them?"

"Help," he said slowly. "I think. It's -- complicated. But I might wind up hurting people on the way."

"And what does your gut say?"

"I don't know." He paused. "I just -- I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I'm just -- I'm not all here."

Her hand moved down and rested against his chest. "Whatever decision you make...it'll be the right one. You're a good man now, no matter what you've done."

"I'm just -- tired, Beth," he sighed. "I'm tired of people dying, I'm tired of trying to save the world, I'm just -- tired. I just want to be a person, you know?"

Her body inched closer and she kissed his chest lightly. "I know," she murmured. "Trust me I know." Her arms wrapped around him.

He pulled her in closer, rolling onto his back so that she could settle in on top of him. "You really think I'm a good man?" That seemed to be the thing he needed to hear more than most, especially with the things he'd done in the past few days.

She settled in against him and closed her eyes, pressing her lips to his shoulder. "I know you are," she replied.

Dean nodded slowly, before closing his eyes and draping an arm across her back. "Thank you."

"Besides," she tipped her head up to kiss his lips gently. "I swore to myself a long time ago not to fall in love with the bad guys anymore."

"Well, I'll try not to disappoint," he murmured into the kiss.

She grinned into the kiss. "And trust me, I've been trying really hard to not fall for the good guy either."

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm."

"So I guess that means good things for me, huh?"

She sighed and kissed his lips again. "I think...it means I'm falling...in love with you. Up to you if that's good or not."

Dean paused, considering that for a moment, and trying not to hold on to the hope too much. At the end of the day, he knew that he might not be allowed to have it, but God, he wanted it. "I definitely think that's a good thing."

She smiled softly and opened her eyes to look at him. "You do? Definite is a pretty strong answer."

"Well, I'm a strong answer kind of guy."

"Right." She rolled her eyes. "Like that first time you turned me down for sex?" The corners of her lips may have been turning up. Just slightly.

He chuckled slightly. "I came back, didn't I?"

"Mmm. You did." She propped her arms to her chest so she could lean up slightly with a better view of his face. She tilted her head. "But how long are you sticking around?"

"Well, provided I don't die on the job, I can see myself sticking around for a while," he said with a nod. "How's that sound to you?"

"Sounds like a plan," she said, curling up against him again. "Provided I don't get killed or my cover blown again."

He sighed softly. "We need a better day job. Or at least a less dangerous one."

She chuckled, her eyes closed as she kept close. "I don't know...a demon hunter and secret agent? Kinda sounds like the plot for a movie or something."

"A plot for a bad movie," he said with an eye roll. At least, that's what he felt his life was like sometimes.

"I don't think it's all bad," she said with a slight frown.

"Well, the demon hunter end. I think the badass secret agent part is pretty awesome."

Beth laughed. "And I like the hunter. Maybe not what he has to go through, but overall.."

"Overall he does good?"

"Well...he did snag the badass secret agent."

"That is true."

"Mmhmm." She kissed his chest again. Then she shifted and brushed her lips across his skin. She moved, continuing to kiss his skin slowly. Dean's eyes closed, and leaned back against the bed, letting her take over. She left her hand on his hip as she moved up to kiss him.

He kissed her back, moving his hand up and cupping the side of her face lightly. She sighed into the kiss and let her hand slide up his body. She hated seeing him like this and wanted to keep making him feel safe. She dropped herself closer, letting her foot glide down his leg. He moaned softly into the kiss, pulling her in closer and letting her take the lead.

She did so and took her time, before her body fell against his. She didn't want to move from his chest. Being close to him right then, she was taking it for herself for the moment. He didn't mind her staying where she was. He wrapped his arm around her again and just pulled her close, kissing the top of her head lightly. Eyes heavy, she sighed and curled up close.

His eyes dropped closed as well, rubbing her back lightly. "Gonna kick me out when I wake up?"

"No," she murmured.

"Good," he said softly, before closing his eyes and dropping off to sleep.

She started to fade out, too, mumbling a subconscious, "Love you," as she went. Dean caught the end of it, smiling softly before drifting off to sleep himself.