Dean Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hasperkynipples) wrote2010-02-07 12:34 am
hasperkynipples) wrote2010-02-07 12:34 am
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[motel 6] In which Dean and Alec really don't have a choice.
They were running out of options.
Dean didn't like it, but it wasn't like there was much he could do about it. He needed to at least talk to his brother, and Sam wouldn't even give him that. He just kept running, and Dean knew that that wasn't going to solve the problem. Sam running was only going to get him caught by hunters or worse. And if Sam got caught by hunters -- back to Hell he goes, and who knows what he'll come back out like. Problem was, though, was that Sam was smart. He knew all of Dean's moves, so if Dean was the one doing the tracking, Sam would see him coming a mile away.
But he wouldn't see Alec.
Pushing himself to his feet, he made his way over to where his brother was sitting, and handed him the journal, held open to the page where the Devil's trap was. "Alright. A couple things you gotta know."
Alec took it but was looking up at Dean. "Lay it on me." He wasn't happy. At all. He didn't like this option, and it felt to him like he was cornering an animal. Which is exactly how he would feel if the roles were reversed. But Dean was right, better some tough love than a hunter putting Sam down like a flawed transgenic.
"This is a Devil's trap. Once a demon steps inside it, he's not goin' anywhere. Gotta make sure it's just right though -- one symbol off and he'll cold cock you and bail." He paused. "Well, Sam would. Any other demon'll kill you." He shifted again, before moving to sit in a chair across from him. "Draw it on the ground and he'll see it. You can cover it with something, and it'll still have the same effect, so long as none of the lines are altered, so be careful."
He looked at it and pondered. "Where would you put it?"
Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "It's different every time. Usually I go for a ceiling, or right under a window so that they can't get in without getting themselves trapped. So they don't have time to react."
He worried at his bottom lip as he thought about it. "So if it works through carpet and such it's like. . .a continuous column. Does that work sideways?"
Dean frowned. "Don't know. Never tried that."
"Then he won't see it coming." He studied the diagram carefully. He had a perfect memory, but he still had to be sure he saw all the detail. "Does it have to be drawn in something special?"
He shook his head. "We usually use spray paint, or etch it into the ground."
"So those are out." If Dean or Sam had done it Alec wouldn't. He looked around the room. They wouldn't use this room but he was hoping for inspiration anyway. "Let's go buy some chalk." He looked at Dean. "Unless we own some. Do we?"
"Might be some in the trunk," Dean said with a sigh. "If not, I know where to get some."
"He's gonna be so pissed."
"Better than it bein' someone else," Dean sighed. "I can't let him go back to hell again, Alec. I can't." His hand ran over the top of his head, before looking back at him. "If he seems like he's not gonna hurt you -- salt'll keep him in place too. Put salt lines along the doors and windows, and it'll give him more room to move around. Make him feel less constrained. But -- I know that it's Sam, but if anything about that situation feels off, don't do it." Dean didn't want to know what Sam would do to Alec if he felt like he had no other way out.
"I'm not saying we shouldn't do it. I just. . .don't like hunting him. It doesn't feel right, even if it is the best option."
"Hey, I don't like it any more than you do," Dean sighed. "But we gotta do something."
"Yeah." He rubbed a hand over his face and closed the journal. "Let's net us a brother."
Dean nodded. "After you."
Alec left the room intent on finding, strangely, a nicer one. If he was going to have to trap his own brother in a room it was damned well going to be a nice one. "Think we can find a bed n' breakfast or something?"
Dean considered that for a moment, before nodding. "I'll track down a phone book, see if there's something in there we can use."
Alec shrugged a little. "Just. . .if we have to do this, I don't want to make it worse than it has to be."
"No, no -- I'm with you there." Dean paused for a moment. "Just -- hope he doesn't do too much damage to the place that we're gonna have to pay for."
"If he does we'll pull cash from one of the credit cards and leave it on our way out." The cash would ensure that the credit company couldn't refuse to pay if they figured out the fraud.
Dean nodded as he made his way over to his car. "Sounds good."
Alec followed, opened the door and slid into the passenger seat.
Alec carefully set the white chalk down in a safe place. He might need it again later. The devil's trap was chalked white on white on the wall. Mostly invisible unless the light hit it right and tall enough to account for Sam's height. The summoning glyph was near the path of the trap. He didn't want to have to trap Sam if he didn't have to. This would give them a little room to work with. He lit the candles and flipped open his knife and held it against his hand ready to add the needed blood to summon his brother.
Dean sat on the edge of the desk, watching as he got everything ready and trying not to feel too nervous about the whole thing. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his brother but they needed to find Sam first. The precautionary shot gun was sitting with their bags and mostly hidden from view, but it was still close enough that Dean could grab it if this backfired and they needed it.
Alec slid the knife carefully across the base of his thumb and let the blood fall. Now all he could do was wait. And hope that he didn't stain the floor with multi-million dollar blood.
Sam didn't know what he was feeling at first. It was a tightness around his stomach and he felt whispers in his ear that felt like someone was calling him. The demon screamed, knowing that magic was wrapping around him and pulling him along a path and he tried hard to hold onto the tree branches as he cried out in pain at the pulling, and it only got worse until he was stretched to the point where he was about to be ripped from his body. He couldn't leave the boy behind in the tree, so he let go and instantly he dissipated and was grabbed by the magic and pulled across three states at the speed of light until his sulfur cloud appeared in the room and wrapped back into the body.
Rubbing his eyes and pushing away the pain, Sam looked and saw Dean and Alec. "No!" he shouted and tried to move, but he was up against a wall almost instantly. Fear filled his eyes and he tried every direction, almost like he was ramming his body against the walls until finally he back himself against the white wall and slid down to the floor, burying his head in his knees and wrapping his arms around his legs, nervously rocking back and forth.
"Sammy, Sammy, hey," Dean pushed himself off the desk and started to move closer to his brother, need to comfort him overriding the need to be safe. "Relax, okay? We're not gonna hurt you."
Alec watched, not wanting to move closer because Sam was clearly hurt and frightened and it was his fault. It may have been needed, but it was still his fault. "I'm sorry." He looked down and started snuffing the candles and wiping out the glyph. He paused even now and then to lick at the small knife wound on his hand.
"Yes, you are, you're going to send me back to hell," Sam whimpered, trying to make himself smaller. "I was a bad thing and you hunted me and found me and now you have to finish me."
"No, no, no, Sam," he said. "I'm not sendin' you anywhere, I promise. And I'm definitely not sending you back to Hell. The only reason we did all this is because we didn't want someone else to find you." He was quiet for a moment, before crouching down in front of Sam. "It's me, Sammy. I wouldn't hurt you."
Alec finished wiping out the summoning and grabbed his chalk again and started to draw a bigger trap including at much of the room as he could including the whole of one bed. He knew they needed to hold Sam long enough to talk to him, but there was no way he was leaving Sam stuck to the wall. He moved closer to Sam carefully. "I'm sorry I hurt you, made you come here. And no one is sending you to Hell."
Sam refused to talk, just kept his head down and didn't look at either of them. They said that now but they knew what he had done. They knew and they wanted him to confirm it and then they were going to deal with him. He whimpered at that thought and pushed himself closer to the wall.
"Sammy," he said softly, before moving forward and placing a hand on Sam's knee. "Look at me."
At the unwanted touch, Sam moved fast and both hands pushed out at Dean. "Leave me alone!" he shouted and shoved at his brother as hard as he could, not wanting to listen as they tried to make him feel better. They needed to finish him. He was a bad thing and he didn't want them to make him think otherwise. He didn't want them to pretend the bad thing in him didn't exist because it did and it hurt people and it was screaming at him now to hurt them because they had trapped him.
Dean stumbled backwards, watching his brother carefully. "We just wanna help you, Sam. That's all. We're your brothers."
Alec was glad he'd laid a little bit of the second trap before summoning Sam. Otherwise he'd have to get a piece of chalk between Sam's rear end and the floor. That really didn't seem like it would be happening. He connected the last line and then went over to the wall and wiped away enough to render it useless. Sam was now free to move around the room. He crouched down so he could see Sam better. "Why would we want to send you to Hell?"
"Because I'm a bad thing."
"No, you're not," Dean said, shaking his head. "You just made a mistake. That doesn't make you a bad thing."
"I'm with Dean on this one."
"You're a hunter. I killed people. I'm a bad thing and you have to stop me."
The feeling of those words hit him like a punch to the gut and it winded him for a moment, even if it didn't really happen. His mind flashed back to the promises he'd made John and Sam when he was alive, but he knew that he wasn't going to follow through on those then, and he wasn't going to do it now. "No, Sam. You can stop yourself. You don't need me to send you back to Hell -- you can make things better on your own."
Alec looked at Sam for a long minute. "How many?"
Sam shook his head. "I couldn't... I wanted to hurt them, Dean. I don't like it now, but when I was angry I wanted to hurt them all. They all hurt me, and I wanted to hurt them back." He bit his lip and looked up at Alec, tears in his eyes. "The gang and the cop was me. And the priest. But I didn't hurt anyone else. Ruby hurt them."
"Wait, Ruby? Who's Ruby?"
Alec did a quick tally in his head. "You've still got less blood on your hands than I do, and since you and Dean don't seem that eager to pack me off to Hell I can't really figure why we would sent you there."
"Because... because I'm a bad thing and Dean's supposed to." Sam bit his lip and looked at Dean. He didn't remember what Dad had said really but it was feelings about knowing Dean was supposed to do this. He then looked at his knees. "She's a demon too. She wants me to stay bad and stay with her. She says I'm stronger that way."
Dean looked back at him before shaking his head. "No, Sam. I'm not supposed to. I'm supposed to take care of you. I promised that first, remember?"
"You may be stronger that way, but you're better this way. I don't want you to leave us." He bit his lip, unhappy with the thought of Sam leaving.
Sam looked between Alec and Dean, still scared because he wasn't sure if they meant it or were trying to be nice so they could get him to talk more. He wanted to believe that they were being nice and meant it. He really did because they sounded like they did and they were his brothers and he loved them. But he was a bad thing and he knew he could very well end up doing it again, or even hurting them or killing them in the process. "I just don't want to kill anyone again. But I... I liked it." He said softly. Because some part of him had and wanted to do more of it. "I scare me."
"But you don't scare me," Dean said softly, moving closer to touch him again. "You're my brother, Sam. I trust you."
Alec sighed a little. "Look," he paused trying to find the right words. "The fact that you liked it doesn't make you a bad person, or thing or whatever. It makes you a predator. That's not a bad thing. You just have to aim it in the right direction." He rocked back and forth from heels to toes as he stayed crouched to look Sam in the eye. "I'm not even saying that just to make you feel better. I'm saying it because it's true. I know it is."
Sam twitched at Dean's touch but didn't push him away this time. He did start to fidget because he wanted to lean closer and hug his brothers so bad but he knew he could hurt them. He crossed his arms and stuck his hands into his armpits so he wouldn't lash out at them. "I don't trust me. I don't wanna be a predator. I don't wanna hurt things I don't wanna be a bad thing anymore."
Dean inched closer, pulling him closer and sliding his arm around him. "We'll get better. We can work it out. There's a lot of things we can do."
Alec moved in from the other side. "You aren't a bad thing."
"Yes, I am," Sam said in a whimper. He was not snuggling against Dean.
"No, you're not." Well, too bad, Sam, because your brother is definitely snuggling against you. Not that he'd ever admit it.
Alec sighed. At least Sam wasn't pushing them away. That was a step in the right direction. "Absolutely not."
"I am," he said softly, barely audible as he hid his eyes on Dean's shoulder, trying not to start crying. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be bad. I didn't mean it I'm sorry..."
"I know you didn't, Sammy, I know. It's okay. We'll make it better."
Alec nodded a little and then started to back up. He'd let Dean work the big brother magic. Sam needed that far more than he needed Alec's logic.
Sam felt Alec try to leave and his arm shot out, grabbing Alec's shirt and keeping him near as his other hand grabbed onto Dean's shirt. He didn't want to lose his brothers. He loved them too much. He didn't want them getting hurt. He knew that they would because he was a bad thing and that was what he did, but they thought he could be something better and he needed to know that. He needed them. Maybe then they wouldn't have to hunt him again and Dean wouldn't have to kill him. "I just want to be me again..." he cried against Dean's shoulder. "I don't want to be this. I want to be me..."
"I know," Dean said softly. "And you'll get there. It's just gonna take a little time."
Alec stopped. He was a little stunned for a second and then shook himself. He moved back to Sam and hugged him from the other side. "We aren't going to leave you."
Sam just kept holding them close. He knew he was acting like a baby but he was scared that he was going to always be like this and he didn't want to. He wanted to be Sam again. Sam Winchester. He remembered what Sam was like in his memories sometimes and he wants to be that again. Not a bad thing. Sam Winchester wasn't a bad thing. Sammy was a bad thing.
Dean just did the same, keeping his arms around him and holding him close. He didn't know what else to say to him, but Sam wasn't fighting him as much, so he considered it a step in the right direction.
Dean didn't like it, but it wasn't like there was much he could do about it. He needed to at least talk to his brother, and Sam wouldn't even give him that. He just kept running, and Dean knew that that wasn't going to solve the problem. Sam running was only going to get him caught by hunters or worse. And if Sam got caught by hunters -- back to Hell he goes, and who knows what he'll come back out like. Problem was, though, was that Sam was smart. He knew all of Dean's moves, so if Dean was the one doing the tracking, Sam would see him coming a mile away.
But he wouldn't see Alec.
Pushing himself to his feet, he made his way over to where his brother was sitting, and handed him the journal, held open to the page where the Devil's trap was. "Alright. A couple things you gotta know."
Alec took it but was looking up at Dean. "Lay it on me." He wasn't happy. At all. He didn't like this option, and it felt to him like he was cornering an animal. Which is exactly how he would feel if the roles were reversed. But Dean was right, better some tough love than a hunter putting Sam down like a flawed transgenic.
"This is a Devil's trap. Once a demon steps inside it, he's not goin' anywhere. Gotta make sure it's just right though -- one symbol off and he'll cold cock you and bail." He paused. "Well, Sam would. Any other demon'll kill you." He shifted again, before moving to sit in a chair across from him. "Draw it on the ground and he'll see it. You can cover it with something, and it'll still have the same effect, so long as none of the lines are altered, so be careful."
He looked at it and pondered. "Where would you put it?"
Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "It's different every time. Usually I go for a ceiling, or right under a window so that they can't get in without getting themselves trapped. So they don't have time to react."
He worried at his bottom lip as he thought about it. "So if it works through carpet and such it's like. . .a continuous column. Does that work sideways?"
Dean frowned. "Don't know. Never tried that."
"Then he won't see it coming." He studied the diagram carefully. He had a perfect memory, but he still had to be sure he saw all the detail. "Does it have to be drawn in something special?"
He shook his head. "We usually use spray paint, or etch it into the ground."
"So those are out." If Dean or Sam had done it Alec wouldn't. He looked around the room. They wouldn't use this room but he was hoping for inspiration anyway. "Let's go buy some chalk." He looked at Dean. "Unless we own some. Do we?"
"Might be some in the trunk," Dean said with a sigh. "If not, I know where to get some."
"He's gonna be so pissed."
"Better than it bein' someone else," Dean sighed. "I can't let him go back to hell again, Alec. I can't." His hand ran over the top of his head, before looking back at him. "If he seems like he's not gonna hurt you -- salt'll keep him in place too. Put salt lines along the doors and windows, and it'll give him more room to move around. Make him feel less constrained. But -- I know that it's Sam, but if anything about that situation feels off, don't do it." Dean didn't want to know what Sam would do to Alec if he felt like he had no other way out.
"I'm not saying we shouldn't do it. I just. . .don't like hunting him. It doesn't feel right, even if it is the best option."
"Hey, I don't like it any more than you do," Dean sighed. "But we gotta do something."
"Yeah." He rubbed a hand over his face and closed the journal. "Let's net us a brother."
Dean nodded. "After you."
Alec left the room intent on finding, strangely, a nicer one. If he was going to have to trap his own brother in a room it was damned well going to be a nice one. "Think we can find a bed n' breakfast or something?"
Dean considered that for a moment, before nodding. "I'll track down a phone book, see if there's something in there we can use."
Alec shrugged a little. "Just. . .if we have to do this, I don't want to make it worse than it has to be."
"No, no -- I'm with you there." Dean paused for a moment. "Just -- hope he doesn't do too much damage to the place that we're gonna have to pay for."
"If he does we'll pull cash from one of the credit cards and leave it on our way out." The cash would ensure that the credit company couldn't refuse to pay if they figured out the fraud.
Dean nodded as he made his way over to his car. "Sounds good."
Alec followed, opened the door and slid into the passenger seat.
Alec carefully set the white chalk down in a safe place. He might need it again later. The devil's trap was chalked white on white on the wall. Mostly invisible unless the light hit it right and tall enough to account for Sam's height. The summoning glyph was near the path of the trap. He didn't want to have to trap Sam if he didn't have to. This would give them a little room to work with. He lit the candles and flipped open his knife and held it against his hand ready to add the needed blood to summon his brother.
Dean sat on the edge of the desk, watching as he got everything ready and trying not to feel too nervous about the whole thing. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt his brother but they needed to find Sam first. The precautionary shot gun was sitting with their bags and mostly hidden from view, but it was still close enough that Dean could grab it if this backfired and they needed it.
Alec slid the knife carefully across the base of his thumb and let the blood fall. Now all he could do was wait. And hope that he didn't stain the floor with multi-million dollar blood.
Sam didn't know what he was feeling at first. It was a tightness around his stomach and he felt whispers in his ear that felt like someone was calling him. The demon screamed, knowing that magic was wrapping around him and pulling him along a path and he tried hard to hold onto the tree branches as he cried out in pain at the pulling, and it only got worse until he was stretched to the point where he was about to be ripped from his body. He couldn't leave the boy behind in the tree, so he let go and instantly he dissipated and was grabbed by the magic and pulled across three states at the speed of light until his sulfur cloud appeared in the room and wrapped back into the body.
Rubbing his eyes and pushing away the pain, Sam looked and saw Dean and Alec. "No!" he shouted and tried to move, but he was up against a wall almost instantly. Fear filled his eyes and he tried every direction, almost like he was ramming his body against the walls until finally he back himself against the white wall and slid down to the floor, burying his head in his knees and wrapping his arms around his legs, nervously rocking back and forth.
"Sammy, Sammy, hey," Dean pushed himself off the desk and started to move closer to his brother, need to comfort him overriding the need to be safe. "Relax, okay? We're not gonna hurt you."
Alec watched, not wanting to move closer because Sam was clearly hurt and frightened and it was his fault. It may have been needed, but it was still his fault. "I'm sorry." He looked down and started snuffing the candles and wiping out the glyph. He paused even now and then to lick at the small knife wound on his hand.
"Yes, you are, you're going to send me back to hell," Sam whimpered, trying to make himself smaller. "I was a bad thing and you hunted me and found me and now you have to finish me."
"No, no, no, Sam," he said. "I'm not sendin' you anywhere, I promise. And I'm definitely not sending you back to Hell. The only reason we did all this is because we didn't want someone else to find you." He was quiet for a moment, before crouching down in front of Sam. "It's me, Sammy. I wouldn't hurt you."
Alec finished wiping out the summoning and grabbed his chalk again and started to draw a bigger trap including at much of the room as he could including the whole of one bed. He knew they needed to hold Sam long enough to talk to him, but there was no way he was leaving Sam stuck to the wall. He moved closer to Sam carefully. "I'm sorry I hurt you, made you come here. And no one is sending you to Hell."
Sam refused to talk, just kept his head down and didn't look at either of them. They said that now but they knew what he had done. They knew and they wanted him to confirm it and then they were going to deal with him. He whimpered at that thought and pushed himself closer to the wall.
"Sammy," he said softly, before moving forward and placing a hand on Sam's knee. "Look at me."
At the unwanted touch, Sam moved fast and both hands pushed out at Dean. "Leave me alone!" he shouted and shoved at his brother as hard as he could, not wanting to listen as they tried to make him feel better. They needed to finish him. He was a bad thing and he didn't want them to make him think otherwise. He didn't want them to pretend the bad thing in him didn't exist because it did and it hurt people and it was screaming at him now to hurt them because they had trapped him.
Dean stumbled backwards, watching his brother carefully. "We just wanna help you, Sam. That's all. We're your brothers."
Alec was glad he'd laid a little bit of the second trap before summoning Sam. Otherwise he'd have to get a piece of chalk between Sam's rear end and the floor. That really didn't seem like it would be happening. He connected the last line and then went over to the wall and wiped away enough to render it useless. Sam was now free to move around the room. He crouched down so he could see Sam better. "Why would we want to send you to Hell?"
"Because I'm a bad thing."
"No, you're not," Dean said, shaking his head. "You just made a mistake. That doesn't make you a bad thing."
"I'm with Dean on this one."
"You're a hunter. I killed people. I'm a bad thing and you have to stop me."
The feeling of those words hit him like a punch to the gut and it winded him for a moment, even if it didn't really happen. His mind flashed back to the promises he'd made John and Sam when he was alive, but he knew that he wasn't going to follow through on those then, and he wasn't going to do it now. "No, Sam. You can stop yourself. You don't need me to send you back to Hell -- you can make things better on your own."
Alec looked at Sam for a long minute. "How many?"
Sam shook his head. "I couldn't... I wanted to hurt them, Dean. I don't like it now, but when I was angry I wanted to hurt them all. They all hurt me, and I wanted to hurt them back." He bit his lip and looked up at Alec, tears in his eyes. "The gang and the cop was me. And the priest. But I didn't hurt anyone else. Ruby hurt them."
"Wait, Ruby? Who's Ruby?"
Alec did a quick tally in his head. "You've still got less blood on your hands than I do, and since you and Dean don't seem that eager to pack me off to Hell I can't really figure why we would sent you there."
"Because... because I'm a bad thing and Dean's supposed to." Sam bit his lip and looked at Dean. He didn't remember what Dad had said really but it was feelings about knowing Dean was supposed to do this. He then looked at his knees. "She's a demon too. She wants me to stay bad and stay with her. She says I'm stronger that way."
Dean looked back at him before shaking his head. "No, Sam. I'm not supposed to. I'm supposed to take care of you. I promised that first, remember?"
"You may be stronger that way, but you're better this way. I don't want you to leave us." He bit his lip, unhappy with the thought of Sam leaving.
Sam looked between Alec and Dean, still scared because he wasn't sure if they meant it or were trying to be nice so they could get him to talk more. He wanted to believe that they were being nice and meant it. He really did because they sounded like they did and they were his brothers and he loved them. But he was a bad thing and he knew he could very well end up doing it again, or even hurting them or killing them in the process. "I just don't want to kill anyone again. But I... I liked it." He said softly. Because some part of him had and wanted to do more of it. "I scare me."
"But you don't scare me," Dean said softly, moving closer to touch him again. "You're my brother, Sam. I trust you."
Alec sighed a little. "Look," he paused trying to find the right words. "The fact that you liked it doesn't make you a bad person, or thing or whatever. It makes you a predator. That's not a bad thing. You just have to aim it in the right direction." He rocked back and forth from heels to toes as he stayed crouched to look Sam in the eye. "I'm not even saying that just to make you feel better. I'm saying it because it's true. I know it is."
Sam twitched at Dean's touch but didn't push him away this time. He did start to fidget because he wanted to lean closer and hug his brothers so bad but he knew he could hurt them. He crossed his arms and stuck his hands into his armpits so he wouldn't lash out at them. "I don't trust me. I don't wanna be a predator. I don't wanna hurt things I don't wanna be a bad thing anymore."
Dean inched closer, pulling him closer and sliding his arm around him. "We'll get better. We can work it out. There's a lot of things we can do."
Alec moved in from the other side. "You aren't a bad thing."
"Yes, I am," Sam said in a whimper. He was not snuggling against Dean.
"No, you're not." Well, too bad, Sam, because your brother is definitely snuggling against you. Not that he'd ever admit it.
Alec sighed. At least Sam wasn't pushing them away. That was a step in the right direction. "Absolutely not."
"I am," he said softly, barely audible as he hid his eyes on Dean's shoulder, trying not to start crying. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be bad. I didn't mean it I'm sorry..."
"I know you didn't, Sammy, I know. It's okay. We'll make it better."
Alec nodded a little and then started to back up. He'd let Dean work the big brother magic. Sam needed that far more than he needed Alec's logic.
Sam felt Alec try to leave and his arm shot out, grabbing Alec's shirt and keeping him near as his other hand grabbed onto Dean's shirt. He didn't want to lose his brothers. He loved them too much. He didn't want them getting hurt. He knew that they would because he was a bad thing and that was what he did, but they thought he could be something better and he needed to know that. He needed them. Maybe then they wouldn't have to hunt him again and Dean wouldn't have to kill him. "I just want to be me again..." he cried against Dean's shoulder. "I don't want to be this. I want to be me..."
"I know," Dean said softly. "And you'll get there. It's just gonna take a little time."
Alec stopped. He was a little stunned for a second and then shook himself. He moved back to Sam and hugged him from the other side. "We aren't going to leave you."
Sam just kept holding them close. He knew he was acting like a baby but he was scared that he was going to always be like this and he didn't want to. He wanted to be Sam again. Sam Winchester. He remembered what Sam was like in his memories sometimes and he wants to be that again. Not a bad thing. Sam Winchester wasn't a bad thing. Sammy was a bad thing.
Dean just did the same, keeping his arms around him and holding him close. He didn't know what else to say to him, but Sam wasn't fighting him as much, so he considered it a step in the right direction.