[bete noire] Application

[hasperkynipples]

1. Player Information
Name (or internet handle): Emily
Current characters in Bete Noire: N/A

2. Character Information
Name: Dean Winchester (AU)
Livejournal Username: hasperkynipples
Fandom: Supernatural
Image: http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/83417877/16682649

3. Character Information II
Age/Appearance: 30 // Dean is about 6’ 1”, and a rather attractive 6’ 1” at that. He’s got “delicate features for a hunter,” and while there’s a bit of a crooked nose or crooked fingers, it’s not disfiguring. He’s got green eyes, blondish-brownish hair, and nicely built, due to years of hunting/fighting/training/etc. He usually is dressed casually, in beat up jeans, a couple layers of shirts, and some kind of jacket, usually his father’s leather one.

History: Dean Winchester was born on January 24, 1979 to Mary and John Winchester in Lawrence Kansas. When he was four years-old, his mother was murdered by a demon on the ceiling of his brother's nursery, who proceeded to light his childhood home on fire. John was able to pull Sam from the room and placed him in his brother’s arms. From that moment on, Dean took that as his job to protect his brother from whatever he could, in whatever way he could. Dean practically raised Sam by himself while John tried to hunt down the thing that had killed their mother up until Sam graduated high school, and left his father and brother in order to attend Stanford University.

Dean and Sam weren’t reunited until the beginning of Sam’s senior year, when John went missing. Dean came to Stanford to try and talk his brother into helping him find his father, and Sam agreed to go on one hunt with him in order to make sure their dad was okay. At the end of the weekend, they still hadn’t found John, but Sam returned to find his girlfriend, Jessica, murdered the same way that his mother had been—pinned to the ceiling of their bedroom before it was lit on fire. After that, Sam came back on the road with his brother, wanting to track down their father and the demon that did it in order to put an end to it once and for all. When they finally did find their father, he had been possessed by the demon in question, Azazel. Azazel used John’s body to torture Dean, causing serious internal damage. After the demon left his body, Sam was driving Dean to the hospital in order to get Dean some help when they were t-boned by a tractor trailer, leaving Dean in a coma the doctors weren’t sure he’d pull out of.

In order to save his son’s life, John sold his soul, not that his sons knew that at the time. Right before he died, John reinforced Dean’s instinct to protect Sam, but also added the caveat that if he couldn’t save him, he would have to kill him. Dean carried that secret with him for as long as he could without telling Sam, but when he finally came clean, Sam made him promise to kill him if he ever went evil as well. A few months later, Sam was kidnapped by Azazel, leaving Dean scrambling to find him. After receiving a vision from another one of the captives, Andy Gallagher, Dean made his way to the abandoned town where Sam and the others were being held. Just as Dean arrived there, however, his brother was stabbed in the back, and a few minutes later died in Dean’s arms. Shattered by the idea of having to live without his brother, who he was supposed to protect, Dean tried to sell his soul at the crossroads.

Emphasis on the word tried.

He never actually made it there. Bobby caught wind of his favorite idjit’s idea before he could actually go through with it, and stopped him, even going so far as to lock him in his basement until Dean worked through his grief the natural way, even if Dean didn’t feel that there was anything natural about it. There was a lot of yelling, a lot of screaming, and a lot of crying, and by the time that Dean was ready to actually leave the room, he had missed his own brother’s funeral. Bobby took care of it, just to make sure that Dean didn’t do anything stupid.

For the next year, Dean avoided Singer Salvage and took up hunting on his own. He didn’t have anything else left, and was feeling a tad bit suicidal. He hunted anything he could find, regardless of whether or not the thing was just trying to get by. There were a few pretty close calls before he came out of the motel one morning to find an oversized demon curled up like a ball in the back seat of his car. At first he was really pissed off and was planning on sending the son of a bitch back to Hell, but when the demon actually started to talk—Dean knew it was Sam. He wasn’t sure how or why, but his brother was a demon.

Maybe it a psychological break, maybe it was Dean’s dependency issues reaching a whole new level of screwed up, or maybe it was just the fact that he missed his brother so much that he couldn’t handle this on his own, it doesn’t really matter. He couldn’t send his brother back to Hell. Not when he could try and save him, as much as a demon could be saved. Dean threw himself into protecting his brother again, readjusting him to the world, and trying to make him better.

He’s arriving in Bete Noire after Sam has been missing for a few days, and he sets off to find him himself. By the time he’s arriving in the city (I was just going to have him drive in in his car), he’s going to be feeling pretty desperate and worried that Sam’s gotten himself exorcised or worse.

Personality: Dean is, above all else, family first. They are the most important and most consistent things in his life, and he’s attached to them to the point where it is unhealthy, especially considering that ninety-five percent dead. After losing his mother at the age of four and growing up with an absentee father, Dean was forced to step in as mother, father and brother to Sam, which graduated Sam to, essentially, Dean’s reason for living. While Sam always fought for a normal life, Dean mostly fought to keep his family together, hold on to the few people that he actually had in the world that weren’t constantly changing. Dean has been nomadic his entire life, traveling from town to town for as short as two weeks at a time, and didn’t even stay in school long enough to earn a diploma (he has a GED). He didn’t have very many friends that weren’t hunters, and even then they weren’t people he could confide in, and he spent most of his life lying to people—not the most conducive way to form lasting relationships.

Dean, however, is the only member of the Winchester family who doesn’t hunt out of revenge or necessity—at least in the beginning of the series. He truly enjoys the work and feels like he’s making a difference through it. While Dean has lost people, instead of blaming the thing that did it and seeking out revenge, Dean transfers the blame to himself, thinking that he wasn’t strong enough to do it. Also not the healthiest way to do things, but it’s his way of coping. When it comes to Sam, however, there’s nothing Dean won’t do. He sold his soul for his brother, and even through their trust issues, Dean would rather see his brother live than anything else.

Aside from his family issues, on the outside Dean is a snarky, friendly and flirty human being. He has a thing for one night stands (they’re about the closest he gets to a functioning relationship). He’s never been in love, never had a serious relationship. While he has had a few “girlfriends,” they never lasted longer than a few weeks, and they always came second to his family and his job. That didn’t mean that he was against long relationships, however. They just never seemed to coincide with his higher priorities, being the job and his family.

Dean is also a master at putting on a smile when on the inside he’s falling apart. Dean sees himself as a massive failure. Dean has lost everyone he’s ever cared about, either temporarily or permanently, and sees himself as someone that’s not worth sticking around for. John was an absentee father, Sam bailed on Dean to go to college, he’s never had a sustainable relationship—while he can easily project a guy with all the self confidence in the world, his self-worth is in the toilet. Dean has a lot of pride, however, and will almost never let anyone see him at his weakest. While he may be depressed and sullen, he doesn’t go fishing for pity. He’d rather fake it, if nothing else.

With this particular AU of Dean, he’s a lot more obviously broken than he is in canon. In canon, at the end of Season 5 when he finally loses Sam officially, Dean has been through a lot more where his dependency on his brother is lessened somewhat. The events of Seasons 4 and 5 do a lot to make Dean stand on his own two feet a little more and not rely so heavily on his brother and his father. This isn’t to say that he likes being alone, but he can deal with it a little better. This Dean, with no Hell, no Apocalypse, and nothing to drive a wedge between him and Sam cannot function in a world without his brother, and it shows. He lashes out at everyone around him and makes it hard for anyone at all to get close to him. He bottles the emotions away, and unleashes them on the nearest supernatural thing he can find, convincing himself that it’s just him doing his job, but often times he doesn’t care if he’s going down with them. He follows the stupid plans, does the least safe thing, because the self-loathing and regret is pretty much all he’s got left, and he doesn’t know how to do this alone.

He has a very low tolerance for anything supernatural, with the exception of Sam. Maybe it’s a little hypocritical, saying that it’s only okay when it’s his family, but Dean really doesn’t care. As far as he’s concerned, it’s the supernatural beings that did this to him, and all of them as a whole should pay for it, good or bad. He also takes his protectiveness of his brother to a whole new level of crazy, to the point where it’s almost a neurosis. Nothing can happen to Sam, because Dean wouldn’t be able to live through another failure, and now that he’s a demon, Sam is twice as vulnerable. Hunters just like him are going to be looking to put Sam away and chalk it up to a job well done, so Dean does not like to let Sam out of his sight. At all. Period. However, he knows that his brother isn’t stupid and can take care of himself to an extent, so he can loosen the leash every once in a while, so long as he knows where he is. It’s more like Dean is looking after a small child than a more-than-capable demon. And if you hurt Sam in any way? If you’re lucky, Dean will only beat the shit out of you, if he doesn’t snap completely and kill you. This demon is the last scrap of family he has left, and he will die, literally, before he’ll let you hurt them. His loyalty is to Sam, and Sam only—maybe Bobby on a good day, but it would have to be a really, really good day. Sam’s become the entirety of his focus, to the point where he ignores his own needs and desires. He wants Sam to be happy, to stay happy, and to stay with Dean. It’s stuff like this that can sometimes make Dean more worrisome than the broken demon he takes care of.

The sad part of it is, despite how neurotic he’s gotten, and the fact that his brother’s a demon, this demon is actually doing good for Dean. He smiles more, laughs every once in a while, and is a little more aware of what he’s doing before he does it. Having Sam around helps him get better, even if he’s a little bit crazier.

It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s the truth.

Sexual Preferences/Orientation: Dean is heterosexual and very pro-sex. Sex is the closest he gets to a functioning relationship with a woman. He doesn’t stay in one place for too long, so it’s very rare that a girl will get further than a one night stand with them, but Dean will never, ever say no to a one night stand.

Ever since his brother has come back into his life, he’s been ignoring his own needs for the sake of Sam’s, so prior to his arrival in the city—it’s been a while since he’s actually had any. He doesn’t trust himself enough to leave Sam alone for the night, knowing that something bad will happen the second he lets his guard down. So he doesn’t go out and drink as much, only takes breaks from his brother when Sam wants them, and pretty much ignores himself. It’s not healthy, but that’s how he stands at his arrival in the game.

Powers: N/A. Aside from his combat training and knowledge of the supernatural, he is the humaniest human to ever human.

Reason for playing: Aside from my general love for Dean, in terms of this AU version of the character, I miss him. He was one of the first Deans I ever seriously played, and I would love to find a place to actively play him. Also, his Sam is here. He can’t leave his Sam alone. Ever. He feels enough guilt as it is regarding the fact that Sam is a demon, he’s not going to throw him to the wolves.

Also, I think this Dean is a lot more prone to darkness than canon Dean, despite the fact that he hasn't been to Hell. There’s more of a desperation to him, to the point where he’s willing to do anything to hold on to his family, no matter what the cost. He’s given in to more of his baser responses over the past year that Sam was gone, so he’s almost primed for a place like the city. He’s spent his time with Sam being so controlled, that he needs something to prompt him to let loose a bit, even if it’s in a bad way.

Also, Dean carries a lot of resentment towards his brother and father for leaving him in this situation. The city will either push him closer to Sam, to the point where he's smothering his brother, or pull him away, making him colder than he already is. He's spent so long bottling up why he wanted to lash out at his family, that once the city gets a hold of him, all it would probably take is a little ammunition to light a powder keg.

4. Original Character Supplement
World History:
Character History:

5. Samples
First-Person:

Well, this sure as shit ain’t Kansas.

[not that he was actually IN Kansas before, but … details. Dean has just rolled up in his car, and tried to call Sam again, only to find that his phone wasn’t his phone. So … message to the masses is a go? The picture clicks on and you have a Dean Winchester—yes, ANOTHER one—and he is not looking happy. But right to business.]

My name is Dean. I’m looking for my brother. His name’s Sam—six foot plus, shaggy brown hair, hazel eyes. I just want to make sure he’s okay, so if anyone’s seen him and can point him my way, that’d be appreciated.

Sammy? If you’re out there, front and center, soldier. Don’t make me have to summon your ass. I don’t want to have to do it, but if you don’t show up soon, I’m gonna have to.

[in his tone that’s clear. He knows Sam doesn’t like it. But he’s really starting to worry here, so better do as he says. In fact, the worry is a little more obvious than he would like]

Just … if you know anything, please let me know.

[a beat, and the strong, obnoxious, asshole tone is back]

Oh, and where the fuck I am would be helpful too.

Third-Person:

Dean wakes up, and Sam’s gone.

Which is normal. Sam goes, sometimes. He’ll go out and find himself cotton candy, or go to the library, or something else adorable and Sam-like, and he’ll come back, babbling about the day he had and things’ll be fine. Sam would be fine. He may be a demon, but he isn’t stupid. He’s back before the end of the day, all in one piece, and Dean starts to breathe again. He worries about Sam now, more so than he ever did when Sam was alive, because now he is in even more danger. The whole world is against him, and Dean can’t lose his brother again. Not he won’t, he can’t. Demon or not, he won’t survive watching Sam die a second time. He knows it, and he doesn’t think Sam does, but he’s watched Dean panic enough to know better.

Thing is, Sam doesn’t come back.

The sun sets, and Sam doesn’t come back. Dean waits a day, two, three, and no sign. Dean leaves fifty messages on his voice mail, and doesn’t get one call back. Every rational thought in his head gets drowned out by notagainnotagainnotagain and it’s all that Dean can do not to charge out there and go find his brother. He knows that he should wait. Sam will be back. Sam always comes back. He doesn’t have to summon him or go look because Sam will be back. He has to be. It might kill Dean if he isn’t.

After sunset on the fourth day, Dean gets in his car and starts to drive. He doesn’t know where he’s driving to or why, but he’s looking, pouring through his old contacts, trying to find any sign that a demon had been in the area, and when he actually tracks something down, he finds it and he traps it. If it’s Sam, all he would do is let him out and they would be on their way again, but they weren’t Sam. None of them were. And with each and every one he finds, they find themselves on a one way trip to back to the pit they came from. Dean leaves the meat suits and just goes, his mind focused on one thing. It is the only thing that matters and nothing could change that.

Find Sam.

Find Sam.

When he finds the city, he isn’t quite sure what to make of it. He’s sure that he’s been to every city in America at least once, but this is no city he’s ever been to. It gets under his skin in a way he can’t explain, and makes him want to burrow his way further into the car, where he knows he’s safe. He has half a mind to back out and start driving the other way, but there’s a part of him that also knows that Sam could be in there. Alone. Scared. He needs to find his brother, so he pushes forward, rolling into the city, eyes sharp for anything that could cause a problem.

Eventually he can’t go any further, and he parks the car, getting out but not wandering very far. All his weapons were in that trunk, after all. He glances around, just taking in the scene and suddenly realizing that he was very far from home, and very, very fucked.

“Damnit,” he mutters, sticking close to the car and reaching for his gun. “Where the hell am I?”

Third-Person #2: [Set before Dean found out his brother was a demon.]

She was blond.

He never used to care what color their hair was, or who they were, but he noticed she was blond this time around. There had been too many blonds that had come and go in his life, and they always seemed to go far before they should.

This blond wasn’t going to be any different, but not quite in the same way.

He made his way through her room, gathering anything that was his and making sure that he didn’t leave anything else behind. He wanted it to seem as though he was never here, and he had gotten pretty good at just disappearing over the years. He pulled his shirt over his head, trying to be as quiet as possible.

He really hadn’t been interested in coming home with her. He was just looking for a drink—nothing more, nothing less—but the relentless flirting, the alcohol in the system, and the feel of curves pressed against his body, and he caved faster than he intended. He was human after all, and he was lonely. There was nothing wrong with a little friendly human contact—especially when you’re on the road by yourself a lot of the time.

It wasn’t until his back was pressed to her couch that he realized how long it had been since he done this. He could feel the warmth of her skin in his hands, and the weight resting against him and there was an indication of how lonely he’d been. She kissed him again, and he gives into it like a man who’s drowning on dry land, using the temporary distraction to push away his self-loathing and regrets for a moment, and focus on the matter at hand. This he knew how to do. This he could do. His practiced hands pulled the soft material away from her body until all that was left was skin and heat, and nothing outside of that room mattered.

For a little while anyway.

It didn’t make him feel better, though. It wasn’t the same, the way it was before. He knew that when he left her apartment, Sam wasn’t going to be there to get on his case about picking some random girl up in a bar. Sam wasn’t going to pick on his choices, or put on his annoyed bitch face, or just be Sam. Instead, there was going to be an empty motel room, and an empty car. No banter, no brotherly teasing, nothing. Sure, he had Bobby, but Bobby wasn’t around all the time so most of the time he was alone.

Just—alone.

And nothing was ever going to change that.